There’s a song that keeps coming on the country station, Hank FM, which I listen to when I’m out and about driving. The song is Boston by Stella Lefty, and there’s one line that gets to me every single time.
The lyric goes: “And I'm tellin' you, baby, this is the part where I'd run / But I like it when you're nice, like it when you're nice to me.”
Every time I hear those words, I find myself shaking my head. Something about that line just doesn’t sit right with me. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but it makes me wonder: Does he not treat her nicely most of the time? Is being nice such a rare occurrence that she feels the need to point it out when it happens?
Shouldn’t we expect the people in our lives to be nice to us? Of course, nobody is going to be pleasant every minute of every day. We all have our moments. But there’s a difference between having a bad day and regularly treating someone poorly. Being treated with kindness shouldn’t feel like a special occasion!
I say this from experience. In the distant past, there were people close to me who weren’t always very nice to me. I struggled with those relationships and put up with far more than I should have for far too long. Eventually, I guess I matured, grew stronger, or wised up. I realized I didn’t have to keep putting myself in situations where I was treated badly.
That was an important lesson to learn. We have choices about whom we spend our time with, whom we befriend, and toward whom we feel obligated. Just because someone has been part of our lives for a long time doesn’t mean we have to continue accepting behavior that hurts us. We can care about people without allowing them to treat us poorly.
The Bible has something to say about this, too. In 2 Timothy 3:1–5, Paul describes the difficult behavior people will display in the last days. He lists pride, abusiveness, ingratitude, cruelty, and a whole host of other unpleasant characteristics. Then he ends with some pretty direct advice:
“Have nothing to do with such people.”
Well, Paul certainly didn’t mince words!
Now, I’m not suggesting we abandon someone simply because they’re having a bad day or occasionally get on our nerves. Goodness knows, we all have our moments when we aren’t as kind or patient as we should be. We need grace, forgiveness, and opportunities to do better. And we need to offer those same things to others. But there’s a difference between an occasional rough patch and a pattern of unkindness. We can love people, pray for them, and wish them well without giving them unlimited access to our lives.
So, yes, I feel badly for the woman in this song who seems so pleased when her man is nice to her. I hope she knows she deserves kindness as a regular part of her relationship, not just when he happens to be in a good mood.
She needs to like him most of the time—or at least recognize that a relationship should bring more kindness than heartache. And if being treated nicely is the exception rather than the rule, perhaps it’s time to reconsider the relationship.
My advice? Get out of that relationship before you get to Boston, girlfriend!
