Did you have a cookie jar in your kitchen when you were growing up? Do you have one now?
My sister Sharon made my mom a cookie jar shaped like an ice cream cone at my Aunt Margaret’s ceramic shop. When my mom died, that cookie jar came to me, because my sister already had one she had made for herself. When my grandsons were younger, and not teenagers, and came over more often as they did not have sports’ commitments, friends and church activities to keep them busy, the first thing they would do was head for that cookie jar to see if it was filled with their favorite cookies—Mother’s Circus Animals. It’s a fond memory that still makes me smile.
In William Kent Krueger’s books, he often mentions the cookie jar in the kitchen of his main character, Cork O'Connor. The jar was shaped like Ernie from Sesame Street and was filled with homemade chocolate chip cookies baked by Gamache’s sister-in-law, Rose. In his latest book, God’s Country, Krueger writes:
“She (Rose) nodded at the cookie jar. ‘I understand. You give and give and give and what do you get in the end? All your cookies are gone, and all you have is an empty belly and you get no thanks. I agree. It sucks.… since I’m the one who filled you up time and again for so many years, I feel a pretty deep connection with you. We’ve shared so much together (Ernie), together watched a lot of water go under the bridge. You often gave me good advice and, once in a while, I returned the favor.… You give and give and give but when you’re empty, how do you fill yourself back up? How do you prepare to go back to giving, which is what you were made for.’”
There are so many people who give and give and give, just like Ernie. Almost every day, I see someone doing it or hear about someone who is. I see it in the church, but I’m sure it happens in other areas of life, too. At one point, I was one of those people. I tried to forget about other areas of my life by burying myself in work, volunteering, helping others, and on and on and on. I thought I was doing a good thing, but I wasn’t taking care of myself. Eventually, I was completely wiped out and had nothing left to give. I’ve learned that it’s important to pace myself. It’s okay—and even good—to say no. It’s okay to tell people I already have something on my calendar, even if that something is simply time to sit and just be. In fact, that may be one of the most important appointments I have!
God thinks it’s okay, too. In Psalm 46:10, we read, “Be still, and know that I am God.” I also love the saying that we are human beings, not human doings.
So please, take care of yourself. Make time to simply be. In those quiet moments, we can come to know God more deeply. We give God space to fill us with God's love, joy, and grace so that we can return to the world refreshed, rather than running on empty. And the next time you feel like an empty cookie jar, do something about it! Bake some chocolate chip cookies. Buy a bag of Mother’s Circus Animals. Fill your cookie jar—and take time to fill your soul, too. It’s okay to take time for yourself. You don’t always have to be the one giving. Sometimes, you need to sit down, take a deep breath, enjoy a cookie, and let God take care of you.
After all, even the cookie jar needs to be refilled!